November Thankful Challenge 2015

My
November Thankful Challenge 2015

This November I have decided I will do a Thankful Challenge.  In which I will be posting things that I am thankful for in each post. Soon the holiday season will be near.  Not everyone has a wonderful holiday.  I am thinking this challenge may help prepare and help those face the season with a positive outlook. 

I have learned that we must exercise focusing on the positive things we see and have in our lives, to help fight depression.  It is much easier for people to fall into the routine of seeing the negative things that we experience day to day.  Which then can put us into a down word spiral that never seems to stop.  

It is a fact, you can google, that we can retrain the wiring in our brains to see the positives we experience and see.  I don't mean, ignore the bad things we face in our lives. But, I truly have become to believe that all things happen for a reason.  That reason can be good,bad, Positive, or Negative.  It is a choice, I have learned to make.  I admit it, it can be a hard task to do. With time it has become easier when carried out.

When I feel down or just plain bummed out, I often go to my gratitude journal. Start each day to write three things each day down that is positive that has happened.  Even, if it is the smallest of things.

Like; "I woke up this morning. The sun was shining and I managed to get dressed."

This can be our last thoughts while we lay down each night as well.  Just trying to lay there and think of three things that happened to you that day. Even the smallest of things count!

Within time, you will find yourself finding more important things you will be thinking of pointing out. For instance; "So and so called me today, I actually got allot accomplished today. I had a good laugh today! I am so happy I didn't go to the gym today.  There was a fire there today."

Try this and let me know in the comments bellow how you make out?

Have a wonderful day,

MS and Living Life... Sherry

Why I cut my long hair off?

"Eeeeeek!" AsI heard the sound of my six inch hair sliding down the back side of the hairdressers cape as the clippers buzzed. Yep! It was too late to change my mind! I quickly raised my hand and ran my fingers through the back of my head!


"Wow, its all gone!" I thought. As the girl asked me  for the third time, if I was okay with it being gone.

Sensing, she too was just as hesitant on quickly cutting it so short. ....
"Yes!" I said "To late to turn back now, isn't it?" and laughed. "It will grow back fast if I don't like it anyway! No worries! Its' going to be a  big change for me!"

I was pleased when she explained to me how thick my hair is and how full my new cut would look. I was happy as when I started my drug modifying therapy drugs, (DMT's), Copaxzone injections, the first few months my hair was coming out by the handfuls.  Scared the crap out of me! I honestly thought, I would never have a thick head of hair again.  So this was a relief.

Surprisingly, the big heap of hair that she swept up when she was done, made me feel good. Happy to have it off, as I knew it would be so much easier to look after and do in the mornings. Good hair for me is the best way to start my day.

Now, a couple days later, I often catch myself running my fingers through my hair still. A habit I have gained having long hair. But when reaching the back where I used to let it drop as it reaches the end.  Awkwardly, now feeling its shortness, I find my self saying; "Oh yes! Its' gone!"

Still this being so new, I also find myself taking a double take in any one of my mirrors around my house, taking a second take, saying; "What the hell?" Then I quickly remind myself, "You cut it off." Shake my head at myself, smile, giggle a little and go on with what I was doing.

This isn't the first time I have done a drastic cut to my hair when I worked hard to let it grow long. This time, I just couldn't let it grow any longer. It took me so long to do, dry and manage. More energy then I wanted to spend, on just doing my hair each morning. Also, my hands and fingers don't always want to work with me on somedays, with MS. So assuming this is going to make it easier too. I am hoping that the little headaches will not come back, feeling they where being caused from the heaviness of my hair.

You see, I feel I  had a M S pseudo relapse a couple weeks ago.  I knew it a new hair cut would give me that spark and the lift I needed to keep pushing myself, mentally and physically to regain control of my health.

I am so happy with this hair cut. I am glad I stepped out and took the chance to change something that is such importance to me.   I was debating  to do it for some time.  When contemplating cutting it, I replayed  the voices of a few good friends, in my mind telling me, how much better I look with short hair. Thank you for those who are honest and chance to voice their opinions. Plus, thanks to hubby for telling me it looks sexy! ;)

I know doing my hair is so much quicker to do.  Leaving my morning routine quicker and easier. Now it will be easier for my to follow this one saying,  No matter how you feel. Just get up. Dress up, Show up and Never give up!

A change is good!

Have yourself a great day!
MS and living life..... Sherry

Fall season is a glimmer of hope with MS

As autumn/fall arrives, we with MS always look forward to the ability to get out doors and once again push ourselves to be active. A relief of the summer heat, a brighter hope for a new beginning to life and strive for a healthier living. Accompanied by the cooler temperatures changing colours of the leaves.  This feels like, the moment the butterfly realizes he is no longer in his cocoon, and stretches is wings for the first time. 

The beginning of a journey that draws us strength and energy to reunite us with the energetic and happy person we know is still deep inside. I speak for those of us with Multiple Sclerosis that are heat sensitive. 

As each year, or season, weather differs. But once again this fall weather the quick fluctuation in temperatures and weather plays a toll on those like myself and my Multiple Sclerosis. This seems to play a roll in weakening our immune systems that is already over worked from constantly fighting our own systems within ourselves daily.  In addition to the fall having fluctuating temperatures and weather comes contact with others.  Being out more with others,  risks them caring every flue or cold bug that gets thrown into our body, our immune system kicks in high gear and starts to fight off everything it sees foreign. 


Keep in mind, people with MS already have weakened immune systems.  In time my body does start to show many MS symptoms do to its activation and fight within. For myself I see this will continue until the "flue or cold bug" becomes full strength. Usually it also takes my MS symptoms away after the illness is taken its full course.

MS symptoms are; nausea  fatigue,  vertigo, brain fog, possibly causing inflammation and extreme pain. Sadly, it often triggers a relapse, or as some call it, an MS Episode. This can last from 3 days to several weeks or even months.

Sometimes these attacks on our bodies do return back to all regular functions.  Reality is each time we experience these flare ups, we risk loosing any one of them, that I have mentioned. Even the most scariest potential loss for me is; the chance of loosing my site and ability to walk. Not a fun time wondering if a bodily function that has been lost, will again return.

I always try to up my vitamin supplements intake; eat a neutrally denced diet along with regular activity to help counteract and assist in my health and well being.  Doing so also helps me bounce back faster from these ill times more so then if I don't follow this routine. In addition, I also find, keeping close to home and little contact with high risk of germ carriers helps too. I make a habit to I remove my gloves and wash my hands upon returning home when I am out.  This way, I can continue to enjoy outside activities keeping my health in check. 

I enjoy walking the most.  I get my cardio, strength and endurance training all in one.  As, long as I listen to my body and don't over do it. I try my best to monitor my progress and slowly increase my activity. Taking recovery drinks, help me maintain the ability to enjoy my walks on a daily bases.  The recovery drink I take, I believe helps my leg muscles recover.  Just as body builders experience taking a recovery drink after a workout.  It is one of my life savers in my plan to stay active.

Like stress, over doing it, can set me back. Flaring up debilitating symptoms within 3 days after the event. I also find if I stop my regular routine activity of walking any distances for anymore then a 3 day streak, I have to start back at the beginning. It can be quite a juggling act. 


Yes remaining active and healthy like, living with MS, can feel and sound like quite a complex process. For me the achievement pays off. The enjoyment of being outdoors, enjoy the weather of fall, and keeping my ability to walk on my own. I also get so many other benefits from my achievements. Weight loss and tone, feeling happier, calm, clarity and feel more confident. Not to forget the quicker recoveries of MS attacks.  


Backing my belief that, I am in control of my disease and it doesn't have control over me.

I have to live with Multiple Sclerosis and I can't fight it.  It isn't going away.....just I always know it's within, waiting for a chance to brake free. I have been thankful for the fall season, as it really does allow me to take control of this monster, giving better chances to live a fun fulfilling, active and healthy winter season. 

How do you like the season of autumn and does it affect you and your health?

Wishing you well, as always.....

MS and Living Life.

Focus on Progress not Perfection

Slow and Steady wins the race..

I am definitely not on the road I had planned out originally but I have learned that we need to lessen our loads that society makes us feel we should live up to.  Looking back I have learned to be more flexible on how I get things done and the time it takes me. Not to put so much emphasis on the small details of things as it only causes disappointments.


Being diagnosed with a chronic illness with no cure like MS, makes you realize you have absolutely no control over some of the things that happen in our lives.  However, we can choose how we are going to deal with it. Having this kind of diagnosis at a time in my life where I was crossing the finishing line of better health and wellness, showed me how we can get blindsided, turning our lives into turmoil.


I have never gave up on my journey.  I found the journey just showed me that perfection of what I looked like, wasn't a priority anymore.  Even though I sometimes have to modify workouts and laid out my days out accordingly to how I feel. It has taught me that maybe I was just competing with myself to start with!


Learning that fitness is a big influence on controlling many health issues. I have had to except  my fitness  levels and activities as they differ each year or season.  Using that as a measurement of where I stand, seems to put less emphasis on its' disappointments and more on what I actually achieve. I see that my new approach to making the most out of life has less affects on debilitating me in my tracks. I admit, it's not always easy to pick out the positives affects that has guided many of us through such devastating times.

We become unhappy and feel as though we are dying due to lack of moving forward. Not spending time dwelling on the negative repercussions, it allows you to live in the moment and look forward to tomorrow. If you focus more on the good things that are happening, more good things seem to show up. 

Training ourselves to thing positive is like a muscle, the more you work it the easier it becomes.

Opening yourself up to this positive way of thinking allows you to not only progress but, enjoy what you have achieved.  It really does back up the belief; "Everything happens for a reason in its own time."  I am amazed at the new doors that have opened for me to help others see a new look on their own lives just by me sharing the things I have learned. 

So.... Yes, I do see what I have lost down this long dark road with with a chronic illness with mountains I thought I would never get over. However, the most important thing is what I have learned and I wouldn't be who I am today, if this road wasn't taken. It really is about what progress I am making and not so much on trying to make things perfect.

"So, Strive for Progress, Not Perfection!"

Do you focus on perfecting everything you do or do look forward in the progress you gain?  I would love to hear how you focus on progress in the comments below.

Leaving you today with positive approach....

#MS #fitness #positive #MSLife

Me a Blogger? MS Blogger? Writer?

Wow! Who would have thought, me a writer? Blogger? Never!
I have become big on self development and self teaching.  So yes, at this point and time that I am at the beginning stages of *blogging*.   I like many had no idea where to start! 

I use to have my own internet web design company in which I taught others how to make the most of their computers in the home or office. Also the giving them an understanding with basics of the Internet and safety.

"Education is one thing no one can take from you in life."

It was a very busy and successful business in a the time the Internet was becoming available locally to the private sector in rural areas. I started it after attending college after I had my family. My teaching method was all hands on. I not only had my own classroom of eight computers but I also went into local businesses. Taught their staff how to switch from type writers to make the most out of their new, (office tool) computer! I was the village go to girl, Guru,  on how to do things on the computer. 

I always have been terrible at grammar and spelling, still am now. *Sigh* I always depended on the computers programmes to correct what it could. It really didn't serve me as well as I had hoped. A wonderful retired school teacher offered me tutoring which helped extremely.  

In time, I hired a wonderful lady, younger then I, in which  editing my writings was a small part of her duties. Just as she taught me so much about English and writing content, I think she too, enjoyed learning about web design and programming. 

I decided to chose to closed the business after the government started offering my main services I provided for free in our local library's. Although it wasn't as detailed, I decided to spend more time to focus in our family business. 

Sadly, my major MS Relapse in 2010, my memory was vastly affected and I had lost  all of what I had known about office work, web design and the computer.  I have to ask my daughter how to do things on them now. More then I would like to for the simplest things. 

So lately I have been dabbling with blogging. Thinking it would be a a great way to record my health. Not only by the seasons but the years.  Having a record of my MS journey, gives me great insight on what affects my mental and physical health. It has it been good therapy and a wonderful learning curve. 

I admit, Its been a process to try and do this type of technology thing again. Often I get emotionally  frustrated with how much MS has taken from me. On the other hand, slowly I am relearning. Which is a positive thing! My husband and I, now see what I use to do and appreciate all that I am able to do each and everyday. 

I know my spelling, grammar and English isn't what it should be to be a "professional" writer but it being a Blog, that's ok. I know I will improve! I am a self learner, determined. In this case I believe, they are all good qualities.

"We are never too old to learn."

Today I am taking a step deeper into this Blogging thing, as I bought a book.  "The Golden Rules of Blogging" by Robin Houghton. Thinking that maybe, just maybe, having a book in my hand might help me remember better, what I am now learning. I also listen to this new in thing called, Pod-casts about blogging as well. 

I am learning new things each day.  I am so excited about this new adventure and wanted to share this with you. What new things are you learning or teaching yourself? 

Wishing you the best in health.....

Seeing progress with MS keeps the fight going

Thinking back, being so busy living life, years ago, I barley glanced at that person in the morning mirror. Often ignoring that reflection looking back at me. She was screaming at me, that I needed to enjoy amazing gifts around me that I had been given. Thinking now that she was trying to tell me to slow down and enjoy the pleasures of our growing family and my good health. I, like many of you,was more worried about helping my husband to provide our family of the things we needed and wanted in our lives, to live the lifestyle we had longed for.

Yes, I was suddenly blindsided with the illness of Multiple Sclerosis (MS).  Hitting me like a furious raging storm, leaving within every inch of my body untouched. Its' aftermath left degree that affected every one in the family. Leaving a silent monster living within myself trying to destroy my body and life.....that I would forever have to silently fight each day forward.

I began to seek out others and learn what they have done to gain control of their MS. I didn't stop! I will never stop learning! It isn't about how I look when I look in the mirror now.  Its about who I have become and where I am going. 

I too have learned what triggers this monster within me now and how to gain control over it.  I now have learned so much of what helps me and what doesn't.  Now I try my best to eat healthy and exercise daily. When I feel like things are getting tough, I look back and see myself at my worst and compare myself now. It isn't about being perfect but how much progress I have made!

Create new story, create a new life!

It's a choice, I have made to never stop trying to fight for the life I now have and want.  I have a new life, with new hopes and dreams. My road that I travel now maybe harder to travel but my destination has not changed.  

I may not jog 4 miles a day any more but I enjoy the beauty in each day.  I no longer take special people in my life for granted.  I take time to reach out to those who need a ear to listen and kind words of encouragement. 

"We are not remembered by what we do for people, but how we make them feel."

You too can do this.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do something!  I believe we set our own limits. We believe what our minds tell us.  You too have the strength and dedication to take charge of your own life no matter what it throws at  you.  

How do you fight through your struggle? 

Its' never to late.....
Wishing you good health...

Nature whispers to you, if you're open to listen...

The other night the temperature finally cooled off and something compelled me to strike out to explore the trails on our property. I snowshoe on them in the winter months.  Which that is a season that looks and feels much different then it does now, mid August. 

Walking I find therapeutic and try to walk on a daily basis to help control my Multiple Sclerosis. With the heat wavs we are having this summer I haven't been walking as often as I would like. But that evening it was so peaceful and it was something I really needed. 

As the sounds of nature called out around me. It was in a way, that silenced my inner voice, calming my racing thoughts, giving me a sense of comfort. Feeling I was where I needed to be at that moment in time. 

I felt a presents, a spirit or something greater, come over me. Its' presence, I hadn't exsperianced in a long time. Whispering"...... there is something more to life, then what you have experienced so far....something, exceptional planned for you in time to come. You just needed to be patient and believe ..... " Thus, leaving me question; "Has my life I have been living, all been laid out for me before somehow? Is this all to teach me what I need to know?"

With this rare kind of openness,  I began to notice the smallest of things that nature has created and we seem to over look them in our busy lives. 

Making me realize what a small part of the world we are in. That I am in!  That there is so much more out there to see and experience. Thinking how lucky I am to have this here and experience this place in nature that so many will never see or know it exists. What a gift I have had, growing up in the country surrounded with nature. Somehow it had healed so much pain I had endured at such a young age. 

"Sometimes you Win and sometimes you Lean. " ~JC Macwell  For me, I choose to Learn 

I now know some people will never leave the cities or black top roads to experience what it is like to walk among the forest and trees. To pick wild raspberries from their branches, tasting  how juicy they are .  

In some way, all this makes me feel safe but the same time so alone living in this northern small town.  Our nabours great people which can not be seen but heard from a distance. Yet, leaving one feeling close, if one is in need. We are nabours who know each other and pop in for a visit. I don't do that quite as often as I should. They do leave me feeling closer to them then some of our family members. 

It's impossible to walk in the forest and be in a bad mood at the same time. ~Unknown 

It is amazing how getting out side and going for a walk can be so calming and help clear our minds of our daily struggles. 

Wishing you the peacefulness and the confidence you may need for yourself today. 

Note to me! heat + humidity = tremors

This morning I woke up and I leisurely, made my way to our porch where I peacefully enjoyed a cup of coffee.  What a great way to start our days viewing our beautiful pond. Even more enjoyable when my husband and my children get to join me.

Just like most days I am rushing to get the errands done, soon I become aware that my legs aren't feeling normal.  They begin to feel weak and begin to shake. A shake that's not visible to anyone, but I can feel. Hanging the last peace of clothing on the line I can feel the summer heat turning up it’s power.

Thinking to myself; "I dam well better get my arse in gear so I can get what I need today before these legs get too shaky !” 

I have come to take pride in the old way of living. Where the woman looks after; the house, the food, making meals clean cloths and whatever else the family may need. Even now fighting my monster, these daily chores are high on my priority list to try and keep my life to the normal living we have had over the years.

Experiencing these tremors, reminds me that I have to put my physical needs first on my daily priority list, again. I need to start exercising, walking and myself first and my day. That way it’s done and out of the way.  The weakness and tremors only get worse as with heat/humidity. I know in the past with being in better physical shape, this weakness and shaking wasn’t as bad as today. 

To my surprise I came across an article on my Facebook news feed explaining this exact thing. Ataxia Tremors it is called. Reading it it backed up my own theory that I, was not getting enough activity before our heat wave have came….. if I had been more physically prepared I would not be experiencing these Ataxia Tremors as bad. With out it being visible to others, I feel I was luckier then others out there that have more problems that come with this symptom.   

Oh, yes! I knew I was going to struggle to complete my errands,  rushed to get everything done and return home before it became visible to others. I have always tried to hide what I feel and whats doing on with me, even before my diagnoses of Multiple Sclerosis. 

I always try to be that strong woman the community all looked upon, before my illness, not that it really matters. It’s a thing I try to do so I don’t get the pity response from everyone…….   

On this day with the  humidity quickly came the anxiety.  It started as I slowly walked up and put my stuff so the cashier could ring my things through. I don’t know why the anxiety started as I knew this girl and often chatted to her on a friend level.  She kinda gave me a funny look , like as if to say, "oh! She's having a bad day. ....it's ok, we all have our bad days.” , then smiled noticing that I was much slower then any other day and not quite myself. She didn't comment or say anything as I felt she was trying to ease  my pride and it was ok to me. 

I started to choke up.... I was trying not to say much.... 

I was thinking to myself; " At lest she knows that I have MS and  I am not drunk!  ...Dam you MS, for trying to do this to me !!! ……… 

I felt a lump in my throat get bigger and I began saying to myself; "Don't you cry!…..Don’t….. cry! Dam it don’t you cry! …Breathe…"

I know if I did cry , this poor young lady would want to say something….just hoping to ease the awkwardness, I could feel that we both where feeling. She is a very ….. kind soul.

I just wanted to get my errands done  that day and beet this "bastard" inside of me. He’s not just playing with my body he often plays with my emotions…..to get the attention I refuse to give this bastard within! 

Most people in our community know that I often keep to myself and can be stubborn. They also know that if I am bad enough and need help, that  I will  ask for it.  Just as the other symptoms we with MS have, the anxiety and the tremors are both are not visible to others at this stage, for me. I must say; "I am happy for that." 

When I got back home, I pulled out my phone and retread that article about Ataxia Tremors!  Wow! Yes I need to get back at being more active and get on top of my health with diet and exercise! I will do what I had done before….. start with walking!!!

So I am going to go back out in that heat and walk laps around my cool pool. I am going to drink lots of water remain positive …... I am going to get that Monster back in his box!!!  I will enjoy the summer and sun today! Just I'll do it MY WAY! 

Thanks again, 

Remembering summer living as a child in the Almaguin Highlands area ofOntario

As I sit here on my porch overlooking my view, I must say I am loving the sounds of summer in August! The birds, the frogs, the fire-flies, crickets and best of all, until dusk ......... NO FLIES!

My Front Lawn!
Photo by; MS and Living Life -Sherry

As pleasant images flash through through my visions in my mind, I smile, feeling a lump in my throat.  Knowing now,  how my parents gave us a gift that can never be bought, nor forgotten. Reminiscing some of my best childhood memories of growing up living on the Forest Lake River, in the Almaguin Highlands area of Northern Ontario.

Photo by; Josh & Carrie Gilson-Arra Sunset on the Forest Lake River, Ontario.

We moved in the country, when I turned 5. Although  we lived about a 10 minute drive from town.  I remember,  my brother and I complained that our friends lived to far away. When I got older, it was an hour plus bicycle ride over hills and around corners. and often once I got to town, I turned around and headed back home! It was just a long enough bike ride that our friends thought it was too long of a ride to head out to visit us.  Looking back now, I know ..... it was a good thing living a good distance from town.  

So needless to say, it became a time in my life, my brother was my best friend..... for he was not only my bud, but teacher and mentor, I looked up to in many ways. He thought me so many things; from spearing pollywogs with his bow, hook my own worm, how to catch fish, when I tripped and fell, to pick myself up and keep going..... respect others, protecting not only those who couldn't protect themselves but most of all, to love, protect and defend myself. He was always there for me then, when I needed him.  Sometimes, maybe I was a little too aggressive, but I learned how to show others, where my boundaries where. Now looking back, to me that was a good thing!

Photo by; Jessica LaPorte
Lilly-Pads on the Forest Lake River, Ontario.

Although it was a time my brother and I where close, I often spent time to myself.   Learned there where people out there that could hurt you in many ways....But that was okay!  I learned a lot about myself; what I liked, what I could do and thought of a life I may have when I grew older, as we all do. But, this was a time in my life,  I really started to enjoy the country life and all that it offered. I began to like myself and most important of all..... I, felt safe. 

Canoeing the River
Photo by; MS and Living Life -Sherry

Yes, this was a time in my life, it was all about planning out; my next canoe adventure through the lili pads, seeing beavers, calling loons up to our dock, wondering how close I could get them to me before they realized I wasn't their mate.( I know......how mean of me, eh?) *Smirking* .  

Photo by: Sherry MS and Living Life
Sunset of the Forest Lake River, Ontario. The island. 

Oh, I can't resist not to mention that often, I tried beating my record of how many times I could swim around the island I front of our house. I was a strong swimmer at this time and often believed I would become a lifeguard!  (But thats another story for another time.) I had my own competitions of how many frogs I could catch from the canoe in the Lilly Pads and then let them go. I even remember teaching some of our southern friends/visitors, how to catch frogs at night along the river-side and causeway, then having a frog leg fry.  At that time, they tasted like chicken to me, now not so much!

Oh boy how our property and the river itself,  really gifted our family with great memories and of course the best sunsets ever!

I now know why my parents moved from down south to raise a family in Northern Ontario!

Photo by: Sherry MS and Living Life
Sun Set of the Forest Lake River.

What was your best memories of August and this time of year, when you where younger?  I would love to hear about them by email or in the comments bellow.

Remember, enjoy life and .... "It's never too late.....

Health Update…a MS monster is blindfolded.

It is now 5 years since my diagnoses or Multiple Sclerosis, MS.  My treatment, each day I self inject a needle to help control the damage that can be done if or while I have a relapse.  The damage is unseen to the eye but is seen through an MRI.  When looking at the MRI, they look at many factors and previous damage the daise had done to my brain or spinal cord, which, these are called lesions  which apparently look similar to tumours.  They compare the current images to previous images,and measure lesions to determine if these are; growing, multiplying, shrinking or can test to see if they are active.  

Growing or multiplying means the disease is causing damage done to the body, which usually the inject a die to see if it is active.  Shrinking….. well, most doctors don’t believe it is something that happens, but have heard of it over the internet boards. .

Well, it has been confirmed that did have two relapses this past winter by my specialist, however the MRI that I did have last month showed them that they where pseudo relapses. Thus, meaning that I am going through the motions of a relapse but it isn’t doing any permeant damage to my body. In other words it is not progressing!  Good news! The injections are doing their job!  

Even though the motions of the MS Relapses is not only tiresome but also; draining.  Often, getting vertigo, feeling extreme fatigue, confusion, pain, brain fog…. numbness, lack of coordination anxiety, and depression.  Often causes loss of; memory, vision, body functions and ability to move one or more of your limbs. Not only this but we tend to become house bound and withdrawal from society, friends and family. Sometimes, others do not understand our withdrawals and take it personally. 

This experience can  be extremely scary not knowing if these functions will partially return or fully return back to normal. These bouts of attacks, on our brain and spinal cord, can last from days to a week to even months at a time. Only with it “the Monsters’ ” choosing, of what it wants us to loose and for how long. Which is why I call it the Monster within.  No one can see what we are experiencing but can only notice some of its  side affects it does to our functions.  When the Monster decides to lay still, only then will we gain our abilities and functions.  

If the monster manages to get through and cause permeant damage to our nerves, chances are we may never get it back.  Even though the brain is capable of redirecting signals  by making new connections, the spinal cord can not.  

I hope this helps others understand a little more about MS, Multiple Sclerosis. I will not give this monster a NAME, as it gives him too much time, energy and attention it doesn’t deserve.

Wishing you good health… and happiness.

Image from   http://www.viewphotos.org/canada/images-of-Guelph-178.html

Photos Blindfolded bear near Guelph, Ontario, by author copyright Marilyn Whiteley

Restaurant Review of The Bistro, Sundridge, Ontario

My First Restaurant Review!
Bernards Bistro as the locals call it "The Bistro"

We where invited to accompany my son and his small family to a restaurant located in our busiest business section of our small village, of Sundridge Ontario.  I place I had not visited since it opened. Keep in mind, I do not go out to eat much do to my restrictions I have put upon myself to improve my health. I did feel compelled to share with you what a wonderful place The Bistro is.

Even though it is set back off the Main Street, it is well worth the visit, not only is it clean, staff is very welcoming and friendly, but you get the an amazing view over looking Lake Bernard. You can choose to sit in doors or on the screened in porch, either one is wonderful.

The menu had a wide range of food choices that any family could not only choose from but could afford.  In addition a list of desserts of homemade baked pies and cheese cakes.

 Our table ordered  their; Fish (Haddock) and Chip Dinner, Seafood Platter and the Chicken Strips.   They came with homemade fresh cut fries and you could opted out the fries for a healthier choices of Caesar or Chef Salads if you choose.

The Fish, I say was for superior and the best fish I have had in a long time.  The tastes makes my mouth water as I write, thinking of the thinly battered coating and the moistness of the fish itself.  To me, it was perfectly cooked. Our party also enjoyed their seafood platter that had the fish and shrimp.  The chickens strips was also moist in delicious. Later, test tasting the Strawberry Vinaigrette Dressing, made me wish I would have opted out for that and the Chef Salad instead of the fries and gravy . Don't get me wrong, the fries to where wonderful and filling, I just usually do choose the salad, and seeing the salad it to looked very appealing. I just wanted to treat myself with a little meal cheater and had the fries.

The sitting arrangement was very comfortable and with others in the same room we enjoyed and could hear each other comfortably, even with light music playing in the background.  There was a nice fireplace lit and seem to set the atmosphere.

I am defiantly looking forward to returning to this new found restaurant nestled in our own town. Now, finding this great place we wont have to dread that drive to go to well known franchise restaurant out of town because in my opinion, this meets it standards if not higher.

This is a reflection of my experience and opinion.  Please take the time to visit the Bistro (Bernards Bistro) and I look forward to hear about your experience too!


Please view and visit the Bernards Bistro on line
To view Bernards Bistro; Mike Kelly.


Thanking you for your reading and wishing you good health.

MS and Living Life...

The MS Alone feeling has shown his ugly face.....

Yesterday I had an experience that made me realize how alone, I really am. It was a hot day to begin with, and we had stopped to visit family. There home was hot and had humidity where taking their toll on me physically and cognitively. I needed to leave an cool my body down and fast! All I had in mid was to get to my pool and dive in to that cool water. The nabours where our side enjoying the summer day. Hubby asked to stop and say; "Hello and have a quick visit."  All I could think and say was; " No, get me home to that pool!, We can come right back!" We hadn't seen them in sometime and yes it would have been nice to visit but the heat was killing me! I felt bad for not stopping as we waved.  It may have seemed selfish of me thinking back, but I was so hot.

Quickly diving in was such a relief to my body and mind as the cool water  surrounded me as my deep breaths exhaled the heat from with in. I could swear my body created steam  like a hot iron rod hitting the water.   Like I remember in my younger years, being on the farm as they branded cows, seeing that red hot rod hitting that water and the steam simmering. Giving me that “Awwwww”, feeling. 

In the past, he aways said he understood the heat thing and that it was ok, I had to do what I had to to keep my body under control of this monster within. After returning to the pool with a dress for coolness and ready to head back up to see our nabours, it became clear that really in all reality, he didn’t understand. As, he was upset that they had already left and we then had to stay home.  I sat for a moment, thinking what to say to point out his change in attitude.  “I softly said, I am sorry I got MS when I did. I didn’t ask for this, nor did I ask for my life to change so much. I wouldn't wish this beast on my worst enemy.  Clearly, you really don’t understand what it is I feel and am going through.” He admitted that it was true. He doesn’t understand.  Wow Truth Bomm

I feel bad for him because I do know no one asks how he is doing anymore and get on with things. People are always asking how I am doing and concerned for my wellness. It is nice of them to be concerned and feel its easing his burdens. But truly I think

 it leaves him feeling alone with his own struggles of life and how to deal with my illness.

Our life has changed and turned on a dime since my diagnosis May 24, 2010. We have been together for 28 years and have built a beautiful life for ourselves and our children, now grand children. Life as we had seen in our hands, it is no longer there but a pile of ashes running through his fingers like the sands of an hour glass.  Not knowing what to do next. 

Its a loss and I understand we are going through a grieving process while trying to build a new life and new goals but knowing nothing is certain, promised to us tomorrow.  We try and live day by day with this and what the monster is throwing at us. Only feeling the monster within isn’t only  trying to control my body but how my life will be lived, believing he, the monster, would love to have that battle just between him and I. 

I know I will not be those people we use to be.  It’s all about the people that we become.  I continue to read/listen to a lot of self development books and stay positive. Sharing this information with him that I learn.  I may have had to start over but I am liking the person I am becoming.


Thanking you for reading and wishing you good health.

MS and Living Life...

My 1st Book Review

Those who know me well, know that I enjoy reading, I preferably and absolutely love audio books.  Not just any type of books like; Romance, Fiction, Biographies but they must be self development and self improvement.  Something I can learn from.  Something to better myself, my way of living, health or how I deal with others, in a positive way. I don’t like to sit and reed books as there always seems so much to do and enjoy.  If I am going to sit, I want it to be to relax and let my mind be at ease, bye watching a movie or sit at my computer to each out to others around the world or to share my thoughts. I look at my life as we all have a certain amount of time given to us, and we must use it wisely. So audio books are my way of multitasking, getting the job done and educating myself at the same time. 

MSandLivingLife

Women Who Love Too Much. When you keep hoping & Wishing He Would Change.  

~By Robin Norwood

A book I never would have thought would profoundly change my outlook on myself and my life.  It really touched home for me. This author shared stories of different level of abuse and dysfunctional relationships within there homes and with friends around them and how they where being controlled and affected.  

These women where from all levels of society, who loved their partners, regardless of their unhealed issues. Leaving them feeling that they can fix and heal their partners if only they could do this or that and get them to see and change. Though all their anger and addictions it left so many feeling alone, hurt and feeling they didn’t do enough. Blaming themselves. Some women not even realizing they are in abusive relationships. Some how I could find some similarities of my life and past relationships and the things I tried to do to control the out come of some situations.

Later the author shows you that we need to start with ourselves,  To heal our own wounds and learn to love and treat our selves in a loving respectful way, using this as an example to others around us.  We need to learn to believe, love ourselves and get in touch with our own inter-voice. Become responsible for our own well-being and be confident in ourselves, so we don’t fall pray to these kinds of relationships and people in our lives.

I learned that by my own standard I will not except to be treated any less then I treat myself or others. I am not responsible for anyone but myself in any relationship.  How they act or react is not my choice or under my control. Others are their own person and as an adult they are very much capable of making their own choices, good or bad. That they themselves will experience the consequences of their actions. We as people can not control others but be there to listen and be there for them when needed. 

I believe by following this and living it, my relationships and friendships are stressful for myself, not only more open, enjoyable but richer and fulfilling. 

MS and Living Life...

Download the Audio Book