Sunday, December 20, 2015

MS fight within is like walking on thin ice.

MS fight within is an invisible fight. It is like walking on thin ice. 



Photo by Sherry Robichaud

"The stronger you get, the more energy you will have." Says Autumn Calabrese. 


This statement is so true. I look back 3 years ago when I had my MS total under control. That is exactly how my body  functioned and worked for me. 

I felt my body was in a remission state. Being much stronger, had more energy and good mental clarity. I had high hopes that the old me was within reach and just maybe, the old me, was able to return!  

Photo by Sherry Robichaud

Today, once again I am struggling to do the smallest of things. Feeling that pleasant comfort and strength, currently is so out of reach. 


Photo by Sherry Robichaud
Although I know it is just around the corner. Telling myself, "I just need to trust the journey , keep moving forward."

In my mind, I revisit that old feeling quite often.  Thinking about how and what I did to get my body to that feeling of a healthy strong state. How it felt to have that Monster within, locked in the is trunk, with double wrapped titanium chains? Even though today, it seems like a loosing battle against this monster within, I know, I will soon get back control. I will get it contained in his box where he belongs, so he will no longer run rapidly through my body causing uncontrollable, sometimes painful side affects.


I have my plan laid out in motion. Keeping track each day of every approach I take to weaken his strength on me.  I am moving more and more each day. Feeding my body the nutrients it needs to fight back and starve that ugly beast.
Photo by Sherry Robichaud

I am feeling extremely tired right now but,I know, my struggle at this point, will stay for a time.  I will get strong enough to reach for that branch and I will pull myself out of this quick sand. Then, just as it has before, I will begin to gain control of my body and all its ability once again. 

I will continue fight the MS  by walk, reaching my step goals over the holidays on my FitBit. If not out side, I will walk on my treadmill. I am not giving in. I know what I want, and I am not going to stop. When I reach the point of that comfort I describe above, I will continue to build more even more strength. The more strength we have, the quicker we can fight back to keep the monster in his Box. 

It always feels as if we with MS are walking on thin ice and we never know when we will fall through.  Setting us back to the start of our struggle back to better health.

I will keep fighting that silent fight from within.  I "know" I will gain strength.

Wishing you good health and happiness always. 



MSandLivingLife... Sherry



10 comments:

  1. My husband has MS and it definitely is a motivational and self-confidence issue as well as physical!

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    1. It is a struggle to keep going and knowing in the back of our mind that we never know when things will begin to go south. Like many people we have to just keep moving and doing our best to reach that goal we set for ourselves.

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  2. I admire your strength, courage, and amazing determination to keep going through such an ugly disease. May you have a blessed New Year.

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  3. I'm so sorry you're struggling, but I love that you're sharing your story and your journey. It's surely going to help others going through the same thing.

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    1. I hope it does help others... People need to know they are not alone in their battles.

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  4. Thank you for sharing your story. My boyfriend just got diagnosed with MS and prior to that I didn't know much about it. I know that it is a journey and it will be good and bad days. Best of wishes to you in the future.

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    1. Thank you and I wish you both well. It's all about health and wellness from here on in. ;)

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  5. Thank you for this blog. I just saw your comment on the unveiled wife's page and I about jumped up and down (if I could have!). I am in the process of being diagnosed with MS and this post completely describes what I am going through right now. When I was 20 I got really sick but all of the drs dismissed it so I tried to figure it out on my own and finally thought it was gluten intolerance. I went gfree and was oh so well for three years. It was awesome I knew what real life was like and I felt like a normal person. Then this past summer it came back with a vengeance. I kept thinking I had gotten exposed to gluten and that was why I felt so bad but then I finally realized whatever was wrong with me was back. In the midst of this I got a hip injury during a workout and had to be refered to an orthopedic dr. This dr began to listen to me not only about my hip injury but about my other symptoms and has sent me to a neurologist for MS. In all of the years I have been sick I would google my symptoms and see MS but I never researched it bc it scared me and I think perhaps part of me was in denial but when he seemed concerned enough about that to send me to a neurologist I figured I should research it. I cried and cried that first night because every story I read was me. That was in December and now I have a wait until March until I can see the neurologist and I have cried about this, cried because I finally can see what is wrong, cried because of what I thought I could have (I truly believed this was a gluten intolerance that clearly is not, apparently the gluten just makes my symptoms worse) and cried because I am so sick again. Tonight I decided to google living with MS and I just cried thinking about what could happen, cried when I tried to get out of bed and my legs hurt so bad and feel like concrete, and my shoulder that hurt from shoveling snow on Sunday and cried again grieving what I thought I could have. I know it is possible for this to go into remission again and I pray that God will give me that again but for now I think it is about accepting what this is. Thank you so much for your blog I am definitely going to continue following it.

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  6. Thank you for your comment. Sorry that you too maybe a MS Warrior. Keep at it and you will be just fine! Learn all you can and be your own advocate. Never give up!

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