MS fight within is an invisible fight. It is like walking on thin ice.
"The stronger you get, the more energy you will have." Says Autumn Calabrese.
This statement is so true. I look back 3 years ago when I had my MS total under control. That is exactly how my body functioned and worked for me.
I felt my body was in a remission state. Being much stronger, had more energy and good mental clarity. I had high hopes that the old me was within reach and just maybe, the old me, was able to return!
Today, once again I am struggling to do the smallest of things. Feeling that pleasant comfort and strength, currently is so out of reach.
|Photo by Sherry Robichaud|
Although I know it is just around the corner. Telling myself, "I just need to trust the journey , keep moving forward."
In my mind, I revisit that old feeling quite often. Thinking about how and what I did to get my body to that feeling of a healthy strong state. How it felt to have that Monster within, locked in the is trunk, with double wrapped titanium chains? Even though today, it seems like a loosing battle against this monster within, I know, I will soon get back control. I will get it contained in his box where he belongs, so he will no longer run rapidly through my body causing uncontrollable, sometimes painful side affects.
I have my plan laid out in motion. Keeping track each day of every approach I take to weaken his strength on me. I am moving more and more each day. Feeding my body the nutrients it needs to fight back and starve that ugly beast.
I am feeling extremely tired right now but,I know, my struggle at this point, will stay for a time. I will get strong enough to reach for that branch and I will pull myself out of this quick sand. Then, just as it has before, I will begin to gain control of my body and all its ability once again.
I will continue fight the MS by walk, reaching my step goals over the holidays on my FitBit. If not out side, I will walk on my treadmill. I am not giving in. I know what I want, and I am not going to stop. When I reach the point of that comfort I describe above, I will continue to build more even more strength. The more strength we have, the quicker we can fight back to keep the monster in his Box.
It always feels as if we with MS are walking on thin ice and we never know when we will fall through. Setting us back to the start of our struggle back to better health.
I will keep fighting that silent fight from within. I "know" I will gain strength.