Online is great now with the connect support you can get from others. It isn't the same as attending meetings in person. So I decided to attend the local meetings 3 weeks ago. Wednesday is our weigh in day and there is no meeting this week, being tonight. So weighed in on my scale which gives the same results. I am down 5.1 lbs. in a week. Thinking it's more due to having strep throat but I'll take it anyway. Total weight lost is 8.9 lbs. Yay me! ⭐️
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Yes, I joined Weight Watchers online six weeks ago now. I joined online to assist in my weight loss journey. I find it is much more difficult to loose weight while I fight the MS Monster within. Looking back on my past, in my younger years in school at track meets and such. It is easy to recall how I struggled physically with exercise or activity. I thought I was just out of shape or over weight at the time. Now I realize that the struggle and silent fight to stop my activity inside my body was everything but normal. As it seems the MS Monster, doesn't like my body being stronger than him. Suprising he knows the fight is on to get him in that box and lock him in there!
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Today, I start and write with a heavy heart. Not because I have lost a loved one or someone dear to me. But just realizing myself, of how much Multiple Sclerosis has quietly taken from me. Their is so many things I want to do, so many things I use to enjoy and took for granted.
"Don't take any day for granted. "
"Give it your best or don't do it at all"
Now, that was a place I never gave up on either. I did so many things I enjoyed. Reflexology, Computer Training, Web Design, Bookkeeping and then I got my AZ drivers license to not only do the office work of our construction company, but I wanted out in the field, out with our customers. I had also gained my the Heavy Equipment Licenses I needed to qualify to work with these machines but, also get them too and from the jobs. I loved entertaining. We would have BBQ’s and pool parties, evening campfires in the summer. Our friends and their kids would be over and our kids with their friends. It was like Grand Central Station pretty much most of the time. I look back and see how happy I was and what a great life I had been living.
"Don't look back, you can't go back there. Look ahead!"
Lately, this dam disease has had me really thinking about what it has taken from me. From our family. Now thinking, I did all of those things without even thinking about how I would get it done, I just did it. Never, thinking about how I would feel while doing it. If I could even follow it through with out being drained. Even possibly pushing myself to of total exhaustion. Ending up sleeping for days or even having a flare up that might leave me disabled in some way. Oh, how my life has changed yes.
|Some of our stuff|
Today, I experienced my family stepping in changing plans, without me. Plans that I had been looking forward too for days and was so excited. These change in plans, where quick and took me off guard. My emotions quickly grew within me, as I broke down and cried as I tried explaining to my husband, that they where making me feel that they felt I was incapable and inadequate, as tears ran down my cheeks like a river.
He reassured me that was the last thing they wanted me to feel. That they see what I can handle and what I can’t. He reassured me, they where under unforeseen circumstances that came up for them, that they where only worried for my health and didn’t want my health to worsen.
I do however, realized how I need to sometimes, swallow my pride and except that I have to live with this illness. That they too are living with this illness. We are learning that, I can not fight it.
With this, I realize that my family is actually growing up and are only trying to help me out just as I want to help them. This makes me see that the most fulfilling job was raising my children. I must have done something right. Why? Because I see that they know sometimes they now have to also look out for me, just as I have them all these years.
I don’t look for pity, nor for others to feel sorry for me and my family, as we live with this disease. I just am trying to share so others grow awareness of that his is an invisible disease. For some it can be managed. That is exactly what I am trying to do.
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Today I am thankful for my family I have and have put here.....
Let us just say; My in home and out of house ...... family.
At this time, I have a husband of 28 years, whom I love dearly.
One; A 25 young business family man, with a thriving, cute, energetic little boy bundle, I call; "Nannas' Super Star". Who looks just like his Dad. He's carefree and delightful as both his parents.
Two; A 22 year old daughter and her mate, with a fur baby. He is not pro-ceived as, "just a dog!" . Having a personality of a well behaved child.
Third; A 21 year old young family man/ volunteer fireman, of a beautiful, smart young girl, who is, "Nanna's Princes". Caring and comical like her father and with a cuteness if her mother.
I can not say enough of how much I love and am proud I am of them all.
They all work so hard to make ends meet, just as many of your families do. I can not explain how much they mean to me. But just to say, they are my life, is an understatement.
I ; wake, breathe eat and thrive from the presents of each of them and their family. They give me the reason I breathe and keep up the fight, not giving up or give in to my daily struggles. Some days I pop in to see them, just to re-energize my being.
I can't phrase and give them enough credit for the lives they have created for themselves as well as those who love them and enjoy their presence. I am so proud of not only who they have grown to become but, the lives they have created with their families and friends.
I know I am their mother and I reserve the right to brag about them. You know, if it was not for them, I don't know I would not be who and where I am today, mentally and physically.
My husband who thanks me often and keeps reminding me, that it is I, who keeps our family together.... though tears and laughter. Good times and bad.
Please understand, having a chronic illness like Multiple Sclerosis, it has changed our lives. Once so young and now living their own journey. They are all that I have to hold on to, who give me hope for my future.
They are who push me forward each and everyday, through thick and thin. They are always here for me when I need hand, or just to let me know they are thinking of me throughout their busy lives.
This is my family. I am so proud and thankful to be gifted to have them in my life. MS has made me slow down, enjoy the small things in life and cherish those around me. That includes, all of my family.