It is now 5 years since my diagnoses or Multiple Sclerosis, MS. My treatment, each day I self inject a needle to help control the damage that can be done if or while I have a relapse. The damage is unseen to the eye but is seen through an MRI. When looking at the MRI, they look at many factors and previous damage the daise had done to my brain or spinal cord, which, these are called lesions which apparently look similar to tumours. They compare the current images to previous images,and measure lesions to determine if these are; growing, multiplying, shrinking or can test to see if they are active.
Growing or multiplying means the disease is causing damage done to the body, which usually the inject a die to see if it is active. Shrinking….. well, most doctors don’t believe it is something that happens, but have heard of it over the internet boards. .
Well, it has been confirmed that did have two relapses this past winter by my specialist, however the MRI that I did have last month showed them that they where pseudo relapses. Thus, meaning that I am going through the motions of a relapse but it isn’t doing any permeant damage to my body. In other words it is not progressing! Good news! The injections are doing their job!
Even though the motions of the MS Relapses is not only tiresome but also; draining. Often, getting vertigo, feeling extreme fatigue, confusion, pain, brain fog…. numbness, lack of coordination anxiety, and depression. Often causes loss of; memory, vision, body functions and ability to move one or more of your limbs. Not only this but we tend to become house bound and withdrawal from society, friends and family. Sometimes, others do not understand our withdrawals and take it personally.
This experience can be extremely scary not knowing if these functions will partially return or fully return back to normal. These bouts of attacks, on our brain and spinal cord, can last from days to a week to even months at a time. Only with it “the Monsters’ ” choosing, of what it wants us to loose and for how long. Which is why I call it the Monster within. No one can see what we are experiencing but can only notice some of its side affects it does to our functions. When the Monster decides to lay still, only then will we gain our abilities and functions.
If the monster manages to get through and cause permeant damage to our nerves, chances are we may never get it back. Even though the brain is capable of redirecting signals by making new connections, the spinal cord can not.
I hope this helps others understand a little more about MS, Multiple Sclerosis. I will not give this monster a NAME, as it gives him too much time, energy and attention it doesn’t deserve.
Wishing you good health… and happiness.
Image from http://www.viewphotos.org/canada/images-of-Guelph-178.html