Health Update…a MS monster is blindfolded.

It is now 5 years since my diagnoses or Multiple Sclerosis, MS.  My treatment, each day I self inject a needle to help control the damage that can be done if or while I have a relapse.  The damage is unseen to the eye but is seen through an MRI.  When looking at the MRI, they look at many factors and previous damage the daise had done to my brain or spinal cord, which, these are called lesions  which apparently look similar to tumours.  They compare the current images to previous images,and measure lesions to determine if these are; growing, multiplying, shrinking or can test to see if they are active.  

Growing or multiplying means the disease is causing damage done to the body, which usually the inject a die to see if it is active.  Shrinking….. well, most doctors don’t believe it is something that happens, but have heard of it over the internet boards. .

Well, it has been confirmed that did have two relapses this past winter by my specialist, however the MRI that I did have last month showed them that they where pseudo relapses. Thus, meaning that I am going through the motions of a relapse but it isn’t doing any permeant damage to my body. In other words it is not progressing!  Good news! The injections are doing their job!  

Even though the motions of the MS Relapses is not only tiresome but also; draining.  Often, getting vertigo, feeling extreme fatigue, confusion, pain, brain fog…. numbness, lack of coordination anxiety, and depression.  Often causes loss of; memory, vision, body functions and ability to move one or more of your limbs. Not only this but we tend to become house bound and withdrawal from society, friends and family. Sometimes, others do not understand our withdrawals and take it personally. 

This experience can  be extremely scary not knowing if these functions will partially return or fully return back to normal. These bouts of attacks, on our brain and spinal cord, can last from days to a week to even months at a time. Only with it “the Monsters’ ” choosing, of what it wants us to loose and for how long. Which is why I call it the Monster within.  No one can see what we are experiencing but can only notice some of its  side affects it does to our functions.  When the Monster decides to lay still, only then will we gain our abilities and functions.  

If the monster manages to get through and cause permeant damage to our nerves, chances are we may never get it back.  Even though the brain is capable of redirecting signals  by making new connections, the spinal cord can not.  

I hope this helps others understand a little more about MS, Multiple Sclerosis. I will not give this monster a NAME, as it gives him too much time, energy and attention it doesn’t deserve.

Wishing you good health… and happiness.

Image from   http://www.viewphotos.org/canada/images-of-Guelph-178.html

Photos Blindfolded bear near Guelph, Ontario, by author copyright Marilyn Whiteley

Restaurant Review of The Bistro, Sundridge, Ontario

My First Restaurant Review!
Bernards Bistro as the locals call it "The Bistro"

We where invited to accompany my son and his small family to a restaurant located in our busiest business section of our small village, of Sundridge Ontario.  I place I had not visited since it opened. Keep in mind, I do not go out to eat much do to my restrictions I have put upon myself to improve my health. I did feel compelled to share with you what a wonderful place The Bistro is.

Even though it is set back off the Main Street, it is well worth the visit, not only is it clean, staff is very welcoming and friendly, but you get the an amazing view over looking Lake Bernard. You can choose to sit in doors or on the screened in porch, either one is wonderful.

The menu had a wide range of food choices that any family could not only choose from but could afford.  In addition a list of desserts of homemade baked pies and cheese cakes.

 Our table ordered  their; Fish (Haddock) and Chip Dinner, Seafood Platter and the Chicken Strips.   They came with homemade fresh cut fries and you could opted out the fries for a healthier choices of Caesar or Chef Salads if you choose.

The Fish, I say was for superior and the best fish I have had in a long time.  The tastes makes my mouth water as I write, thinking of the thinly battered coating and the moistness of the fish itself.  To me, it was perfectly cooked. Our party also enjoyed their seafood platter that had the fish and shrimp.  The chickens strips was also moist in delicious. Later, test tasting the Strawberry Vinaigrette Dressing, made me wish I would have opted out for that and the Chef Salad instead of the fries and gravy . Don't get me wrong, the fries to where wonderful and filling, I just usually do choose the salad, and seeing the salad it to looked very appealing. I just wanted to treat myself with a little meal cheater and had the fries.

The sitting arrangement was very comfortable and with others in the same room we enjoyed and could hear each other comfortably, even with light music playing in the background.  There was a nice fireplace lit and seem to set the atmosphere.

I am defiantly looking forward to returning to this new found restaurant nestled in our own town. Now, finding this great place we wont have to dread that drive to go to well known franchise restaurant out of town because in my opinion, this meets it standards if not higher.

This is a reflection of my experience and opinion.  Please take the time to visit the Bistro (Bernards Bistro) and I look forward to hear about your experience too!


Please view and visit the Bernards Bistro on line
To view Bernards Bistro; Mike Kelly.


Thanking you for your reading and wishing you good health.

MS and Living Life...

The MS Alone feeling has shown his ugly face.....

Yesterday I had an experience that made me realize how alone, I really am. It was a hot day to begin with, and we had stopped to visit family. There home was hot and had humidity where taking their toll on me physically and cognitively. I needed to leave an cool my body down and fast! All I had in mid was to get to my pool and dive in to that cool water. The nabours where our side enjoying the summer day. Hubby asked to stop and say; "Hello and have a quick visit."  All I could think and say was; " No, get me home to that pool!, We can come right back!" We hadn't seen them in sometime and yes it would have been nice to visit but the heat was killing me! I felt bad for not stopping as we waved.  It may have seemed selfish of me thinking back, but I was so hot.

Quickly diving in was such a relief to my body and mind as the cool water  surrounded me as my deep breaths exhaled the heat from with in. I could swear my body created steam  like a hot iron rod hitting the water.   Like I remember in my younger years, being on the farm as they branded cows, seeing that red hot rod hitting that water and the steam simmering. Giving me that “Awwwww”, feeling. 

In the past, he aways said he understood the heat thing and that it was ok, I had to do what I had to to keep my body under control of this monster within. After returning to the pool with a dress for coolness and ready to head back up to see our nabours, it became clear that really in all reality, he didn’t understand. As, he was upset that they had already left and we then had to stay home.  I sat for a moment, thinking what to say to point out his change in attitude.  “I softly said, I am sorry I got MS when I did. I didn’t ask for this, nor did I ask for my life to change so much. I wouldn't wish this beast on my worst enemy.  Clearly, you really don’t understand what it is I feel and am going through.” He admitted that it was true. He doesn’t understand.  Wow Truth Bomm

I feel bad for him because I do know no one asks how he is doing anymore and get on with things. People are always asking how I am doing and concerned for my wellness. It is nice of them to be concerned and feel its easing his burdens. But truly I think

 it leaves him feeling alone with his own struggles of life and how to deal with my illness.

Our life has changed and turned on a dime since my diagnosis May 24, 2010. We have been together for 28 years and have built a beautiful life for ourselves and our children, now grand children. Life as we had seen in our hands, it is no longer there but a pile of ashes running through his fingers like the sands of an hour glass.  Not knowing what to do next. 

Its a loss and I understand we are going through a grieving process while trying to build a new life and new goals but knowing nothing is certain, promised to us tomorrow.  We try and live day by day with this and what the monster is throwing at us. Only feeling the monster within isn’t only  trying to control my body but how my life will be lived, believing he, the monster, would love to have that battle just between him and I. 

I know I will not be those people we use to be.  It’s all about the people that we become.  I continue to read/listen to a lot of self development books and stay positive. Sharing this information with him that I learn.  I may have had to start over but I am liking the person I am becoming.


Thanking you for reading and wishing you good health.

MS and Living Life...